I have been sick for nearing a week, I don't really feel like I am getting better, even after the trip to the Doc on friday and all the meds. And worse than that, now I think my sweet Lil E is getting sick too. She said to me when I was getting them dressed, can i just stay in my pj's. Of course I said yes, and this is rare here at our house. Then she just wanted to lay down and cover up in the middle of the floor. Again this is very unnorm for her. But she was having a hard time resting. Lil K was all over her, and rolling on her and trying to love her! Lil sissy was loving her and hugging her.
Althought I have to be real here, it was cute and sweet for a short time. Then big sister was getting irritated that Lil K wouldn't let her be. Just as most of us want to be left alone to veg out when not feeling our best. So I had to seperate the girls. And I too know Lil E is not herself, because when she gets ill, the first way I always know is her behavior! And after yesterday afternoon and today, I am sure she isn't feeling well. I hope and pray it is just allergies though. Either way, Mommy will be right there to love and comfort her, take care of her girls no matter what!
I have been reading a really good book, and if you know me, that is something, I do not read much, except blogs and cookbooks and craft magazines.
I have been reading "The Bathtub is Overflowing But I Feel Drained" By Lysa TerKeurst. It has been very inspirational to me. And Even really got me, knowing she too was an adoptive mom. Something made me grab it and want to read it. Maybe it was because it included 2 of my favorite things, my kids and my daily bubble bath (hince the bathtub). And I am glad I am doing just that! It's really something special about the book and the way it makes you feel! As sometimes we feel like a failure or a bad parents, just because we yelled at our child (like even when they do something that could hurt them, when I raise my voice, I go back and feel horrible..., or said no a thousand times today, or forgot something. Does this make me a horrible bad parent? I don't believe it does, and sometimes I know as foster/ adoptive parents, we are looked at even harder, and then we tend to worry even more. So for me, I am glad to know I am not alone. And I think as long as we are doing our best, we keep God center of our life, and we are not neglecting or abusing our children, then we can't call ourselves bad parents. So this book is really awesome! Everyone should read it! So if you get the chance, pick it up!
Hope everyone is doing well! It's to bed here to prepare for another day of pampering! Thank God, Daddy has been home to help us out! He has been so good about helping with everything and making yummy dinners! What a wonderful husband and daddy he is!
Hugs and Blessings,
1 comments:
Hi Patty.
So sorry to hear that you are not yet on the mend, and that now one of your little ones may be coming down with the same thing! Let's hope it is just allergies. (I'm sure your allergy season starts a bit sooner down there than up here!)
I am going to have to get myself a copy of "The Bathtub is Overflowing but I feel Drained". Although not an adoptive parent, I can imagine the stress and anxiety that you feel being "scrutinized" by others as you go thru the fostering and adoptive process. I'm sure parents in your situation are much harder on themselves than they should be!
As an in vitro mommy I also have days where I beat myself up b/c I raised my voice or lost patience with my little ones. I can remember begging God to have a baby and promising that I would ALWAYS be the best mother; never ever losing my cool b/c I wanted this child so very much. So, you can imagine the guilt that I experience when I feel like I break my promise to God. The problem is not that I wish to thank and honor God for allowing me to experience motherhood, but that the "promise" I made is not one that I can keep as motherhood and perfection are not synonymous!!!
Take care and hang in there! Valerie
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