Foster Care or Not???

I come today with a heavy heart, something has been pulling at me for a while now to post this topic. I don't have the most positive things to say about the system, but in reality it is the poor children that suffer! We need more foster parents, we need more to take a stand and fight for the kids. They need us! The system (DCF, CPS, DFS, whatever the title may be), they say they have the children's best interest at heart, but do they? By law the biological parents are protected, not the kids! And then you have the fact that family comes first. In my opinion, this should not be. If a child is taken, and you see only one family member can pass the background check, what does this tell you? Look at the family in Lakeland FL, now they do not have the sweet little 18 month old baby boy, because his only background check passing relative, has shaken him to death! What about the cases, that these poor children's parents do what is on the list to get the kids back? All the while, they haven't learned or changed? For instance, a parent was shot in a drug deal gone bad not to long ago, while working his case plan and going to parenting classes, but he was still dealing drugs. On top of the fact these kids could have been with them, now the adoptive family will one day have to tell these poor kids what went wrong! What about the endless counts of abuse, more than once in the same home? And when they stop in, the home is on bad shape! What about in the cases of sexual abuse, and yet some siblings are left or returned and others aren't? What if it is not safe for one or part of the children, is it really safe enough for others? How can a case worker do their job if they are in and out in less than 10 minutes? Do they know what is going on in the home, any home for this matter, a foster home, a parents home, the family home? When children are taken, why should they ever be placed with family, if this family is going to have contact with the biological family they are being removed from. How many times does a relative allow contact that the Case Workers do not know about? For instance, what about a Grandma who has taken her grandkids, because her daughter abused them badly! Now she is being mom to her daughter and Grandma and Mom to the kids. So what is up with this? Why did she have first choice, based on she is family? Are these kids in the safest and most loving home they could be in? If mom did bodly injuries to them, why should they ever see her? They shouldn't! Why is that the law protects these parents? How come they have 15 to 18 months to work a case in some states, and now only 6 in other states (Thank God for the shorter time)? Why do they need to drag their feet, play their games, all the wild still out doing whatever it is they were doing to start with? When is enough enough! When babies are born and test positive for drugs, why do the parents get a chance to get them back? They had 9 months to love and care for that sweet baby! Yet it is foster and adoptive parents that are their nurturing and loving this babies when they go through withdrawals, have temper tantrums, and so much more. But that biological mom has her rights to play the game for over a year to get that baby back! Why, when it is proven that if a child does not have proper bonding and love during the first 6 weeks they are more likely to be ADHD, and then oh the bio parents get them back, and can they cope with the hyperness? When do we put our feet down and fight for the kids? They are the ones that are suffering here! They are pushed from foster home to foster home, all the while. If foster parents had the rights to fight for the kids, don't you believe we would have lots more adoptions in the USA? Instead they do not want to put all their love and care into a child to watch them be put back in a bad situation. So what is their choice? International adoption. Please do not think I am knocking any form of adoption, but I am saying, I personally know several that would adopt here if the biological families didn't have so many rights! It makes me sick all the stupidness that goes on in the system, and how many poor children are left out, go unprotected, and even age out, because of games! Please please let's stand up for the kids! Write your Congress and State Reps, let them know what you want changed! Let them know how our system needs to be fixed. Without us standing up for the innocent children, bad things will continue to happen!

I am sorry to really rant, but it gets to me badly. And then to the story today, of the Lakeland FL toddler who had been shaken to death by his uncle. It was unbearable! What does any child do to deserve this type of abuse? So you are angry! Walk away! Never shake a child! And a big myth about shaken baby syndrome is, it's only little ones that are affected, but many children up to age 6 are greatly affected!!! Please never shake a child! There is nothing they can do, so bad, that you need to hurt a child! I can't ever imagine bringing harm to any child! They are precious gifts from God! He only loans them to use for awhile! We are to love them and protect them, and teach them, not hurt them! How can anyone bring harm to a child!

I am not against fostering at all. I think it is a wonderful way to love and help these kids! And I just wish more people would help them! But for the above reasons they shy away from the system. And yet more children are not in the proper homes! And sometimes case workers feel tied to the family, because if they aren't with family, then they will be in an orphange and likely age out of the system! Why is this the way, when we live in a world with so many wanting to adopt? Please think about this and really do write those Congress and State Reps! Let's together make a difference!

May we all stand and protect the innocent children!

Hugs and Blessings,