Does it ever get better? Do I ever really learn how to cope? I don't know! I thought I could be strong! I thought I could handle this weekend! But I am by far wrong!!! You see Easter was our Biggest Celebration with my family! Momma always made it big and lots of fun! And now going on 7 months without the most special wonderful person, and our biggest and most special holiday, I just can't take it! I am raw! I am hurting! I am sad!! Mad!!! Even angry!!! I need her!!!
Lil E keeps saying, Mom, Easter just can't as special! Mamaw made our Easter more special and more fun! Mamaw made our Easter!
Now how can I hold it together for her? I mean really? My 6 year old is hurting so deep she just doesn't understand it! You would think that my inlaws would step it up, for my kids! But no! So now it's Easter weekend, due to other reasons, we aren't going home for the big celebration, and I'm just totally distraught tonight!!!
I was filling our plastic eggs for the hunt, and all I can think of is how Momma would fill so many eggs, way more than we could ever use or need! So many the kids would be tired of hunting eggs! But it was a beautiful site and she had so much fun and joy in Easter!!!
She was a wonderful Christian Lady who wanted everyone to know our Lord and Savior! And yes Easter is all about Jesus Christ. And we totally Worship and Thank him for his gift! But Momma made Easter so much fun!!! It was a great time with all the family and friends! It was just a really happy and fun event! We always had the get together on Saturday so that everyone could be home and go to Church on Sunday.
Now this year, I am far away and lonely!!! I miss everyone and I miss being there for the get together, but what I miss most is Momma!!! I need her to say, "put more candy in that egg". I want some Momma potato salad! I want momma's beans!! I just want Momma! There is no other way about it!
But in my sadness and as these tear fall, I have hope! Wait I have promise!
1 Thessalonians 4:17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air, and so shall we ever be with the Lord!
So you see, I am sad and I am hurting and even down right mad that she isn't here with us! But I have the Promise from God, that says I will be caught up with them and meet the Lord! So I know that one day, when I do pass away too, I will join her! What a joyous day it will be!!!
Momma, we love you and miss you! We think about you every day! You were our world!!! So happy you aren't hurting anymore, but mad we miss you!!! We love you so much!!!!!! All of us do!!!! Keep smiling down on us, our Beloved Angel!!!
Hugs and Blessings,
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