Not sure if it's more like ~ It's like a hard candy Christmas, I'm barely getting through..... or is more like ~ I'll have a blue blue Christmas without you. I'll be so blue just thinking about you!.......
That's how I feel right now! This being the first Christmas that Mom is celebrating with Jesus, and it's hard! I am sad! And I cry every single day! I can't even describe the pain! I know it's life, and God must of needed her more than we do. But I'm a baby and I wanted and needed my Momma! I wasn't ready for her to being singing with the Angels! And yet I know she has to be smiling so big and bright! She is with her Mom and dad, her best friend (My God Mother), she is holding her first born child, my dear sister, Tina, and rocking those great grandsons, Hunter and Kyle! I know she is elated and she isn't hurting. But I'm only human, and I'm a baby! I want her!!!! Not that I don't want all of them, but I really do need my Momma! So this Christmas Season is hard! Beyond belief! I wish I could turn back time, just one more day! One more time could I hear her sing our song "Blue Bird" or as you all know it, Walking in a Winter Wonderland! I want to hear her sing to my girls again! Momma and I always stayed up all night long on Christmas eve baking together! And you know what, I just don't have it in me at all to bake this year. I don't have a desire. I know I need to, but more than that I need my Momma! Our favorite Christmas movie together was The Gathering, and it is such an emotional movie anyway, but now it's extremely emotional! Almost too much for me to stand!!! I want to go to Church with Momma Christmas Eve. I want her so much! I'm really blessed because of her, and I'm so thankful for each every memory and moment I had with her! She is truly the GREAT Angel I have ever known! I love you Momma and miss you so much!!!!
That's what I have been up, part of why I haven't blogged more. Just haven't been with it. Didn't figure anyone wanted to read about me being a cry baby. But this blog is about our live, and how we are doing and what's going on. So I had to be real!
Thank you for making it through this with me!!! Go hug your Mom or call her and tell her you love her!!!
Hugs and Blessings,
2 comments:
The holidays are so hard with out your Mom. The first Christmas was awful for me. I still think about mine every day and wish she were here. All of my friends talk about doing holiday stuff with their Moms and it makes me so sad.
I'm so sorry for you, hun. And this is your blog--those of us who read it do so because we want to know the ups and downs of your life, including your blue days. *hugs* If you need to talk, feel free to call me. :)
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